Woe is Me

Have you ever had a complete moment of clarity, a defining instant in life if you will?

It happened to me one month into a new position my supervisor berated me for a decision she deemed “illogical”. Which led to a path of slight destruction for her and me. To be quite honest and to give some perspective I did come to an incorrect conclusion based on the information presented to me but illogical it was not.

I arrived the first day of work bright eyed and bushy tailed ready to start first adult position. (I had an actual office although it was shared I was excited about that fact) I was told to sit in on a scheduled staff meeting that morning. Before I accepted the new job I explained to The HR representative that I would need a few days off in early December because I was getting married,  without a honeymoon right away because we had to schedule the time off.

During the meeting many things were discussed most of which I was not familiar with being my first day and all. One bullet point that got screamed for my attention with curious interest was holiday time off. (I’m a Christmas Fanatic) This was a small college so the students had a break for that time. The President of the college went on the say “it seems the College will be closed from December 24rd through 26th but as staff we had to use our accrued time off for it.   Certainly that brought up concern for me, one I didn’t have any time off and two why would we have to use our time if the school was closed and we wouldn’t be able to work if we wanted to?

Weeks go by I asked Tiffany* the HR rep what can I possible do about the holiday I don’t have time to use for the days off. “Don’t worry about that we probably won’t have to use the time”. The discussion about the holiday was not brought up again by the President in the weeks that flew by.

I then decided to book my honeymoon for December 23rd through 28th taking advantage of the weekend after Christmas. Unbeknownst to me when the President of the College said the school was to be closed for the holiday that was not set in stone it was just a possibility. A week and a half before the holiday break it was decided that the college would NOT be closed. As the fresh faced newbie of the small staff I had no idea the school closing for the holiday was not concrete.

My honeymoon was planned, bathing suits were bought, and the flight-hotel were booked what’s a girl to do at this point? To not go on the honeymoon of my dreams was definitely not an option. Plus couldn’t let money go down the drain.

I made up my mind I had to go on the trip and talk to my supervisor about the situation at hand. Glenda* the finance director and my direct supervisor went on to shame me, question my ineptitude and say what I did by planning the trip was “illogical”. She thought I should have asked questions before planning, I sat stoic as she spewed insult after insult questioning if I was wrong. Why would they inform the staff that the school was going to be open the week before the holiday? If it was known that the school may be open why discuss the closing at the meeting? This can’t be my life!! Instead of saying any of those things I shook my head put a smile on and said “I made a mistake it will not happen again, but I do have to go on this trip since it is too last minute to cancel”.

That conversation began the extremely contentious relationship between Glenda and me. That led to my moment of clarity. I just wish I got the clarity then and not waste time.

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