Self-Inflicted Peril


It is okay to be vulnerable however most people don’t deserve your vulnerability. We have to learn to differentiate and discern who those people are. One thing we should not do is allow emotional immaturity to be the cause of our peril.

It is easy for me to perpetuate the image of a strong black woman because I am strong and happen to be black at the same time. What I am not is monolithic. While strong and unchangeably black at times I am fragile, and overly sensitive to criticism.  My muscles don’t protrude upon request, I stumble, and trip even fall a few times. Superwoman I am not… most of us aren’t. So why can’t we proudly represent our real selves?

I refuse to say I don’t need a man; I need a father for my children a husband for myself and someone to move the furniture around after I’ve watched too much HGTV. I can’t do it on my own I don’t know why anyone would even want to. When someone I care about ask me “how are you doing” I will not shrink and say fine if I am annoyed and in need of prayer. No more fake smiles and laughter to hide hurt and pain when nothing is funny. We have to get over our issues with vulnerability, insecurity and trust.

You will encounter dead end relationships that will crush you. Someone you call a “friend” will be duplicitous may leave you high and dry taking all your trust with them. But when we see past our emotional immaturity we trust again.  We find a new man to share our worth with. A better friend to call a 2 a.m. that will know how to hold water.

Value your own thoughts and opinions enough to be able to give them out to others without pretense. Don’t apologize for not being a SBW at all times, I don’t.

According to Brene Brown “vulnerability is the cornerstone of confidence” and I have to say 100% agree. What say you?

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